while at the UK version of home depot (what they call a "DIY store"), i found this length of foam insulation for 50p (97.45¢ us) that i think is meant to keep some tube that transports liquids in your house either hot or cold, assumedly hot. so anyways, 50p later (about 97.45¢ us) ive got this gray tube that i figure im going to make a top tube pad from (what chicago wig calls a ding pag). so i cut it down to size (about 18 inches), and strap it on with these gay purple velcro thingies that jody gave to me. only it looks real, well, gay (both in the san francisco and derogatory senses). so i dig arround in "my collection of old cloth things that i dont use for their intended use, but could some day be used for something else" collection, and find this tote bag, donated by a friend, that sports a wannabe keith haring print.

the colors are SO bad, that i can just never wear this thing (my normal bag being my timbuk2- for local shopping i use my trusty trader joes tote), but when i wrap the already-terrible-gray-foam pad with purple velcro straps, the thing just magically becomes amazing! so i had to do it. partially inspired by the keith haring edition cinelli lazer (above right), i now sport what is perhaps the most ugly / awesome totally extraneous item "the purple monster" has ever had. its held on by 3 pink straps (accending in gayness), two of which are covered by the handles i cut from the tote. i call it the diaper becuase its got this bunch of cloth on the underside that is from not cutting the bag down to size, and instead just tucking it away. it makes this baggy looking bottom that, at least initially, resembled what a diaper might look like, but for a bicycle. (also pictured are the new track chain and miche cog- sadly, the bb was english thread, and this is pre-modern era sizing - aka french, so all metric (35x1 mm) - so its nigh impossible to replace, nor worth the time / energy.)

yeah...